Monday, October. 20/10/2014 07:20
Its been a while since I've written anything. Anyway, just a notice and some talks: I'll be going on a school field trip event. 4 days 3 nights at a hotel at the end of this month, 29th, if I'm not mistaken. I'm a little bit concerned about it.
The first thing is, well, I'll be away from home for 4 days. 4 days out of my comfort zone. Second, I don't know anything about the hotel. Third, there will be 3 people in one hotel room and I don't know who my roommates are gonna be. Fourth, I'm not used to living independently. Fifth, sixth, and so on, and on and on...
As you can see, I don't like this for even one bit. The reasons why I participated are because my grades are plummeting so I had this sense of responsibility, and if I don't participate I'll be fined Rp 1.700.000 (around 140 US dollars) and that alone is close to how much my PSP costs. Basically, I'm forced to join but it made me feel like I'm the one who agreed to join in the first place. Its very evil.
13:40
Yeah so, I don't really remember what happened but I ended up calling Naufal "Oniichan" in a feminine, girly, little sister like manner throughout the day until I went home. It was funny as shit.
14:05
Yeah so, mom went home early to anticipate the traffic because its going to be jammed after the President's arrival or something. So much for finishing some anime series.
Friday, October. 24/10/2014 11:08
I'm good at English but I'm not genius at it so I don't know exactly what this means but I think I have an inferiority complex at drawing. Or anything, for that matter.
One day I met this kid at school and followed his instagram, which is filled with deadspace cosplay stuff and some drawings. He is a sophomore- wait.
I'm just gonna put this here: From what I've seen, education system in other places is like this:
Highschool: freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
When Indo's highschool is like this: junior, sophomore, senior. ( This is all just how I see it, it might not be entirely true :/ )
This sophomore is better than me at drawing- hell, he's generally better than me at everything. He didn't do anything to me but I feel threatened.
This isn't really the first time this feeling emerges, but the other times I just dismissed this feeling as jealousy of other people's skills. But its getting more and more powerful lately, this jealousy. I feel insecure. This is ridiculous and absurd, so I thought I might write it here to get it off my chest.
Audrey, Jovita, Kiran. Their drawings are good. I like their drawings, but my chest hurts a little every time I saw it. Like, I'm a bad senior. All those people I mentioned are younger than me.
I hate this absurd feeling. The cause of my jealousy is baseless. Why am I threatened? They're not gonna mock me, right? So what's up with this feeling? Man, what a drag.
Except Jovita. Fuck you.
Monday, October. 27/10/2014 12:55
Yeah so, I asked the teacher stuff about the field trip. She said my study group is only with my class (which is only 5 out of 8 person most of the time anyway), and my roommates are from my class as well but she didn't mention any names so its still a mystery.
18:15
That moment when you came across an FB account of a deceased person, and you used to know that person. Elisabeth Dareho's birthday was on the 18th of October. I didn't remember exactly when she died but I know it was when I was still in junior highschool. So its around 3-4 years ago. I was lurking around my FB (which I use only to give likes to and save some pics) when I saw recent activities from my former school friends saying "happy birthday and god bless you" to this person.
I scrolled down and I saw some people posted normal happy birthdays and then someone posted something like this (I'll try to make it short and translate it [Indo: dia pake bahasa alay jadi agak susah :/ ])
"I was shocked when I heard this from [relative], sister
I was planning about visiting you
But god had other plans
Its so sad
I can't chat wall2wall anymore w/ u T_T
Its the best for u
Goodbye, sister
Rest in peace, baby
Jesus loves you, ur in our hearts
Note: mamie, papie, [relative] n [relative] + fams, be strong
Love u all, god bless u"
It hurts to know that back then, I was her classmate and when she died my reaction was just "oh, okay." She was a shy girl, if I recall correctly. People were deeply saddened, but some of my classmates who barely knew her (me included) didn't know how to react. We didn't know- we didn't realize that she has died and we won't be seeing her again in class tomorrow.
For the last few days I was planning about making a fanfic dedicated to her, a spinoff to Players, but I'm afraid I'll slack off on it like I slacked off on Players chapter 2. Like, right now, I'm slacking off. I was thinking about it when I was briefed about the field trip, so I thought it would be like: the main character is going on a field trip, he didn't want to join but the destination reminded him about his childhood friend who had died long ago. Something like that. I hope I can pull this off.
Wednesday, October. 29/10/2014 13:47
This is it. I'm in the bus right now. I'm sitting in the window seat, next to me is Adit, behind me is Naufal, and in front of me is Jogi. The bus driver is blasting dangdut music. I'm so bummed right now. It started to rain outside, this is strange considering it hasn't rained for the past month. Well, its something to add to the feels.
16:26
It started to rain heavily on the highway. Everyone is getting passive, Adit and Naufal is tired. My psp died, my phone's battery is about to die, too. I think I'll stop here for now. I'll start posting when the flow of power is restored.
19:18
We finally stopped at some kind of restaurant. God, this bus ride is a torture. I think I was about to puke but it didn't happen (thank god) and I'm so fucking sleepy but I can't sleep. Man, this is torture.
I managed to charge my phone to maybe 25% battery life. I thought 2 hours of charging is enough get it to 75% but then I remember my dad's power bank's port is kind of broken so sometimes it charges sometimes it doesn't.
I just hope I can sleep. Just that. Sleep. I don't wanna be awake in this bus for the next 10 hours. I should have stayed at home, really.
Thursday, October. 30/10/2014 00:30
I managed to get some sleep! Only one and half an hour though.
04:35
We (the students) just did morning prayer in Masjid Agung Jami Wonosobo and now we're going to Dieng. God, the IPS kids are making such a racket, I almost can't hear my own thoughts. But the sunrise is pretty damn beautiful and I got some good photos of it with my phone. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
07:07
We're in Arjuna Temple. Its warm here, now. A few minutes ago my breath gives out steam. Its that cold, I've never experienced that before. Its so cool, seeing my breath turn to steam.
08:42
I'm in Sikidang Crater or something. God damn it, this place reeks of sulphur. This place smells like dog shit or something.
11:07
I'm now in some kind of restaurant. I accidentally broke a chair by just leaning on it and everyone was staring at me. I was from Telaga Warna but there's no color change in the lake so its not that interesting. (The lake changes color)
I tried to sleep on my way here from Telaga Warna because I only had like, maybe 4 hours of sleep. I'm so bummed right now. Not enough sleep, skipped breakfast and lunch, didn't take a bath this morning. I'm like a hobo.
12:32
After I did dzuhur prayer my shoes broke (sorry, uncle Tom.) and now I'm using slippers(?) (indo: sepatu sendal). The teachers said we'll be going to Parang Tritis beach to clean up trash. Oh dear god.
13:02
We're back in the big bus (we switched vehicles but I forgot to mention). Jogi is in his former place, Adit is now sitting next to Naufal, and I'm sitting next to Kiran. We're heading for Parang Tritis.
18:08
After 3 hours on the road we finally got to Parang Tritis beach. I almost puked a couple of times but it didn't happen. Our duty here was changed to just "observe the sunset" and that means free time. For the last 3 hours Kiran and I has been cracking sexual jokes to pass the time, and we cracked sexual jokes too at the beach. The bad thing is I missed the sunset. The good thing is- well, I don't know. Now I'll be on the road for another 2 hours. Our destination, the hotel.
20:41
We reached the hotel and my roommates are Adit and Naufal. Naufal is already asleep, maybe. Adit is still watching the TV, or more like trying to figure out how to play movies and music from his phone on the TV. And I'm writing this.
21:50
I think Adit and Naufal are asleep and I'm copying Naufal's homework while repaying him with a flower drawing for our field trip assignments (weird school duties). Its almost pitch black if not for my phone screen and my power outlets' small red light. I'm gonna sleep now, maybe. See if I can.
Friday, October. 31/10/2014 08:28
Today we're going to Pindul Cave, I'm not going inside though, I don't wanna get wet because I don't bring that many clothes. Last night I was able to get some decent sleep but I haven't paid my sleep debt yet because I AM VERY SLEEPY god damn it.
When I tried to sleep on the bus, I began to feel neck and back pains due to the bus seat (yeah, let's blame it on that). Kiran is next to me and he's asleep, I think. He almost fell asleep on my shoulder a few times. It was a weird feeling, but it would be kind of sweet if he was a girl, though. Haha.
11:36
Pindul Cave Exploration turned out to be "drifting on a floaty" rather than "walking in complete darkness" and I regret my decision of not joining it. Damn it, if I brought my swimming gear I would've joined in a heartbeat! If only I know...
18:02
This long gap between entries are because I was constantly on the move, and because of that I must recall stuff from memories which is not always true. Anyway, I'll just write whats on my mind right now.
There's this whiny boy who kept on clinging to me. I want to kill this guy. What's your deal? Cutting into my conversations, trying to fix my English when his is shit, blocking my friends, all kinds of shit. Get the fuck away. Fuck you, Yoga.
Saturday, November. 1/11/2014 07:30
Today we're going home. I had a good but shortish sleep because Naufal fell ill in the morning. I had neck pains, back pains, stiff shoulder, and my right knee hurts. Now, I just wanna go home.
Sunday, November. 2/11/2014 12:50
Heya, boys and girl. I am home now. I got home yesterday at almost midnight and slept like a baby for 11 hours and I've just taken a bath. My body is still so stiff and I still have school tomorrow so I'll just take it easy for now. All the pictures I took can be seen in my Instagram (they're all taken with my phone). Anyway, I'll rest now. See you all in the next entry.
-Aex
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