Monday, July. 07/07/2014 22:06
Alright guess what, I broke my PSP again. Yes the new one. Its not a cosmetic or hardware damage but software error. I can't play games now. Seriously.
I was configuring a line of code to be used by a cheat software but when I saved it the whole thing shuts off and there you have it. I tried a quick fix but it didn't work so I gave up. Might as well try again tomorrow.
I might not play PSP anymore for some time as i try to find a way to fix it. I just hope i don't have to ask dad to bring it to a shop or something. He'll be mad for sure.
Tuesday, July. 15/07/2014. 19:45
After almost 2 months of absence, I finally went to the pool again. Boy, did I miss this place. It wasn't as nice as I expected though. Despite the day's scorching sun, the pool water was freezing!
What's up with that?
Dad said it was from hypersensitivity. Since I'm fasting the whole day, my internal organs had very few activities. No food to process and stuff. So, I guess I became more sensitive to external stimuli.
I started going to school again since last week. My class placement is in between the XII grade IPS class and X grade class. The noises they make, they drive me nuts! I can't concentrate on studying- hell, I can't focus on anything with that kind of distraction. Its going to be a long school year...
Starting this week, I'll go to school 5 days a week. I call this full schedule instead of normal schedule because I usually went 3 days a week This transition is because I'm on the final sprint to university. We need to pass the final exam and because of that we must go all out on studying.
There's been no progress on the fanfics, sorry guys. Its just- I got lazy. Yes, I got lazy. I never made a promise to post it for you. I write them if I want to.
Wednesday, July. 16/07/2014 17:09
I just finished taking a shower. Oh my god.
When I was stripping my clothes off a frEAKING COCKROACH SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND CLIMBED UP MY LEFT LEG THEN IT FELL AND CLIMBED THE WALL BUT IT FELL AND IS NOW UPSIDE DOwn oh my god.
I bathed as fast as humanly possible. Dear god, I feel like chopping my left leg off now.
Today was only half a good day. It started off nice and ended in a not-so-nice manner.
I woke up kind of late but the morning was nice. I could study comfortably. Truly, I wished some mornings stayed forever. We were studying literature and for some reason, it wasn't boring. I loved every second of it. When the break time comes, Adit took out his laptop. The second he did that, I felt a bad feeling coming. So I watched YouTube the whole time to shake it off. Next, math. And this too, for some unknown reason, felt so nice. I've encountered no math problems at all. How amazing is that?
But in the middle of the lesson, an IPS kid came to my class. I haven't told you yet, huh? This guy's name is Ray. He was some kind of a kid celebrity and he was from my school before I dropped out. I knew him long before I created this blog. I hate him.
After he entered the class he spoke to Adit but I couldn't hear them because of my earphones. The next thing I knew, he's playing FIFA on Adit's laptop! In my class! In the middle of a lesson! With sounds turned up high!
At this point I started having problems with my math exercise. Let's just skip this part and say I couldn't focus and got mad. Big time. But I held it all inside, no more violence. I've lost all my will to study. Tank's empty, bro. Then, when the lesson's over, more IPS kids went in and made a racket. Oh for heaven's sake...
When the next teacher came we were supposed to study biology but there's not enough time to do a full lesson, so we worked on an exercise instead. I made it half-assed. I didn't care anymore. I also went home early and disobeyed the teacher's command to stay in class.
I was in a foul mood at home. I felt horrible. But I expected a long time friend to visit me after school and it made me happy. His name is Rizky and, like Ray, he's from my old school and I've known him for a long time.
When I was sitting around in my parent's room waiting for him, he informed me that he couldn't come and he'll tell me when he can come. I turned my laptop on and my phone off to charge it and watch some anime to make me feel better. Before I knew it, dad went home early and was knocking on the door.
21:13
Around two hours ago, Angel chatted me about something. Apparently, she met someone she knew from a Pokémon group in her new school and she got close to him. Axel knew this guy too because the three of them are its members. Put it simply, she talked to me and gave screenshots about Axel talking with this guy. His name is Sindhu. From Angel's point of view, they're both badmouthing her, basically. Then she wanted me to help her and talk to Axel. Man to man. I don't want to do it that way so I decided to be an arbitrator.
I immediately went to the group chat to resolve this problem. As an arbitrator I have to be firm and unbiased. After pulling Axel out of hiding, the trial began. It was resolved peacefully with Axel telling Angel that it was merely a joke but it did looked like they were about to badmouth her. Angel accepted the statement but I think she isn't that satisfied with Axel's statement.
It wasn't really the best feeling in the world, to be firm and harsh to someone close to you. But I had to dispatch the problem swiftly to suppress any additional damage that could potentially drive us apart.
Things like this makes me sad. To start it all off, I didn't have that many friends. I've been alone for so long. For me, adapting to sudden changes like moving out means losing a lot of friends. Knowing them was a great achievement and it feels good when you know you had found some wonderful friends. I love them all. Audrey, Angel, Axel, Jane.
When this group was first founded, I was looked upon as a father figure. I don't know why. Still, I wanted to be serious about it. I might not be able to be a great leader, let alone a father of many children. But I wanted to be a father of this group. To have a family. To have someone. I don't want us to be torn apart.
I might not be able to stand any more losses in my life. I don't want to lose anyone anymore. I've felt lonely enough. Don't add any more pain.
But I knew deep down, this world isn't gonna be fair. You can't expect a lion not to attack you if you're not attacking them. The world doesn't work that way. I'll just have to endure the dramas.
Friday, July. 18/07/2014 19:44
Heya, school's over and vacation is just around the corner. Its just for 2 week, but its a vacation nonetheless.
For the last 2 weeks I've been tortured by the other class' idiocy. I know they're not all idiots and jerks, but that's what I see in those classes. Because the non-idiots are so silent and can be rarely seen at all, what I see is what's left of it, the idiots.
They're all so noisy and annoying, its been just 2 weeks but I'm already fed up with their shenanigans. I don't know if I can't stand them for the next 11 months. I don't know if I can survive their idiocy...
Well, whatever.
With a week to spare before the Idul Fitri holiday, AriaFams discussed about holding a gathering. The schedule haven't been set in stone yet but there's a possibility from Tuesday to Thursday. The only thing that haven't been discussed is the time. Actually, the gathering location has not been decided too but I'll suggest them to use our previous location in our last discussion.
I'm not really hyped for this vacation, to be honest. I'm only excited for the gathering, if it comes to pass. The following week after that, however, isn't something that I'm necessarily excited about. Its just a boring old tradition in our family. Visit the graves of our ancestors and pray for them. Have a feast with our grandparents. Meet our distant relatives. Its all in our tradition. I'll just have to endure the boredom.
The only thing that I like in this vacation is the fact that we're going out of town. We're gonna stay in our grandparents' house. And, I'm going to meet my favorite cousin of all time, Adrian. Though, I'm not as excited as I thought I would. I wonder why...
Ah, in this vacation there's going to be a shortage of signal because we're staying in a semi secluded location. And with that, I'll try to write instead of lurking on social medias.
Okay then, I guess I have nothing more to talk about. We can talk about the coming weeks, about the gathering and the vacation, but I'll save it for the next entry. I'll post this one later tonight.
Bye, for now.
-Aex
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